Story: Doom Fellas – #ENFAF (Day 1)

“Hey bob, how about we skip town?” Said the Aegean cat, sitting near the rooftop vent.

“Wait, what?! Why would we do that? The people here are doomed by this plague, and it’s almost time for human extinction, and you wanna skip town? Are you an idiot Stan?” Replied back the American Bobtail, hanging from the corner of the rooftop, looking at people soffucating on the streets from the sickness, while others are raiding gorcery stores for supplies, as they try to escape the plague.

No, I’m not an idiot… But why would you stay?” Stan asked.

Goddammit, Stan. Knock that junk of an engine in your head, and think a little!” Bob screamed at the Aegean cat, and stepped away from the corner of the rooftop, approaching Stan.

Once these morons all die, the town’s ours! Food? Ours. Play all the time? You got it. You’ll even be able to finally catch the lasers, or stretch your back on top of a keyboard” Continued the American Bobtail.

Oh my god, Bob. You’re a genius! I always wanted to stretch on a keyboard, but my prick owner would always throw me away. What an asshole.”

You know me, Stanley… I’ve always been the one with the brains”

Damn right, you are.”

So, what do you got for me?” Bob asked, while trying to fit himself into a small opening in a box.

You can’t fit, Bob. You could jump in, you know.”

Shut up, Stan” Bob replied back, struggling as he tried to fit himself inside the box small opening.

The Aegean cat tried pushing him inside with his legs, and with some pressures, and a lot of meowing, bob got inside. He then lets out his head from the opening.

Never take… the easy way in… Stan. That’s an important lesson… that’s why I don’t ‘Jump In’. Now tell me…whaddya got?” Bob said with muffled breaths and voice.

Are you sure you’re okay Bob? Your eyes are gonna gouge out.” Stan said, standing still in front of him.

They both stopped talking for a minute, and just kept staring at each other, while human screamed, and cried on the streets. Bob couldn’t take it anymore, so he got his head inside again, and took a heavy breath.

For god’s sake!” He leaned out from the top of the box, and continued. “Just tell me whaddya got!”

Nothing much, Bob. Some Tuna, and a half eaten banana.”

Good god… Why am I even friends with you?”

What do you expect me to do? That rat Buckley got everything before I could even snatch a proper thing or two. He’s got a gang!”

Yeah yeah, Sure. Just give it here.”

Bob got out of the box, snuck his head inside the bag, and started eating what’s left from the Tuna can. Stan kept watching awkwardly, as he wanted to eat some, but wouldn’t dare.

How’s that? Good, right?”

Shut up, Stan. I’m trying to eat.

Suddenly, the rooftop door was kicked wide open. “Bob! You better not run away!” Screamed a bulldog.

Bob jumped immediately into the box out of fear.

I thought you said never take the easy way in.” Stan said.

I told you a million times to Shut up” Bob said silently.

Oh yeah, right. Zip! No longer talking.” Replied Stan.

The Bulldog entered, and started walking towards the two cats.

Frankie! My dear friend, how long has it been?” Bob said.

I ain’t your friend!” Frankie barked at the American Bobtail. “And I don’t have a lot of time, so I’m gonna make this short.”

Buckley enters the rooftop, with a swarm of other rats accompanying him.

Buckley’s my business partner now.” Said Frankie the Bulldog.

Heya Bob, what’s up?” Buckley waved his tail at Bob.

Now humans are dying, and soon, this town’s gonna be empty. Me and Buckley’s gonna take it. If we find you sniffing around on any of the houses, I’ll make sure to give you a hard beating!”

No hard feelings, Bob. We’re just trying to make a livin here.” Buckley added to Frankie’s statement.

You rat prick…” Bob muttered.

Say what?!” Frankie barked.

No… nothing, nothing at all.”

Find somewhere else to scavenge. Adios kitty.” Frankie said, and left the rooftop with his rat partner, laughing on Bob.

The sky started pouring heavily after Frankie left, and the rain soaked both cats, making them look even more miserable.

“Kityy…” Bob uttered.

So… Can we skip town now?” Stan said.

Stan, what part of ‘No’ don’t you freaking understand?!” Bob screamed. “We’re not skipping town!”

How will we get food then?”

Bob went back to the edge of the rooftop, contemplating, thinking of something, as he watched the humans fight, kill, steal, and scavenge like crazy.

I got an Idea.” Bob said with a laugh.

What’s that?” Stan asked.

Humans are dooming themselves… So we’ll just eat them.” Bob answered.

You want us to become cannibals?! Oh my god, Bob. No… Nooo… Noooooo!”

No you idiot, it doesn’t work that way. I’ll be a cannibal if I eat you, or any other cat. Humans become cannibals when they eat other humans. Get it? Plus, humans have been eating animals since the dawn of time, why can’t we eat humans now?” Bob explained to poor Stan.

But wait, not all humans eat meat. My owner had an album by The Smiths called ‘Meat is Murder’ So we can’t just eat humans.”

Morrissey from The Smiths?”

Yeah…”

Damn, The Smiths are good… Well, that’s irrelevant, we’re not gonna eat Morrissey.”

Ooooooohhhh… So we only eat humans who eat meat, and leave the humans who don’t eat meat, right?!”

That’s right!”

My god, how can you be so smart Bob?!”

Stick with me long enough, and maybe one day you’ll be as smart as me.” Bob said with a smirk.

The door was knocked a couple of times, and a voice spoke. “Hey Bobby!”

Bob knew the voice, it sounded familiar, and so he asked “Mike, that you?”

Yeah yeah… Listen, I’m coming in, but don’t laugh, okay?” Mike replied.

Ain’t no one’s laughing, get in.”

The Burmilla cat entered the rooftop, with shaved body that had little red dyed hair spots in the shape of a heart. The hair on the face was not shaved, making the cat’s face look like a bush.

Buwahahahahaha… Joanna fixed you up good!” Stan said, laughing hysterically, and rolling on the ground, while Bob was laughing silently.

Assholes… Joanna’s dead anyway, and all the other humans will follow, so boohoo, no more hair cutting bullshit.”

Mike approached the duo, and asked. “So, what’s your plan?”

We’re just gonna eat the humans, town’s already taken by Frankie and Buckley.” Bob answered.

And guess what?! Eating humans, don’t make us cannibals!” Stan added.

You can’t eat rotting human meat, you’ll both die you idiots… And also that’s dark… Like really really dark.” Mike said.

Well crap!” Bob said.

I’m gonna skip to the next town, see what’s in store there.” Mike said, and left the duo.

Bob looked at Stan, shamelessly, and with a weak gaze, while Stan had his eyes wide open, with a hint of a smile.

So are we gonna…”

Yes, Stan. We’re skipping town”

Fo shizzle ma cat! Darn tootin hell yes! Wooohooooo!!!!” Stan scream, jumping like an idiot, while the society around him was falling.

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